Let Him Go
by Rayne Ackles
Summary: Nick/Greg, NGr, A tragic love story, a nasty break-up, and something that will leave Nick sorry and Greg's life in danger. A songfic, my first ever! R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

**Song Lyrics**

_Nick and Greg's Memories_

Present

A/N: This song is Let Her Go by Varsity Fanclub. I might change all the _her's _to _him's _or something but yeah, enjoy!

Greg walked around the apartment like he has been doing to a few minutes now. He grabbed some pills from his medicine cabinet from the bathroom and put it on the living room table. He grabbed a bottle of vodka from fridge and set it right next to the pills. He was tired. He was lonely. He took one quick look around his apartment and clicked play on his stereo. He and Nick had loved their songs when they we together. Now, it's going to be the last thing he hears. The song started.

**You left a letter as a clue..****.  
Said meet me at the spot, where I first kissed you,**

_Greg was in the locker room getting ready to get home and cuddle next to his boyfriend, Nick Stokes. Greg took of his vest off and opened his locker. He hanged it and stared at the picture right next to the hanger. It was a picture Nick wrapping his arms around Greg's waist from behind. They looked so happy then, but now they barely see each other anymore. There had been family, friends, and work. No one knew about their relationship but Greg kept up with that. It was Nick's choice and he respected that._

_Greg smiled at the picture and turned a bit to see a envelope with Greg's name on it. Greg looked at it and opened it showing a letter, with Nick's handwriting. Greg smiled and opened it, it showing in big letters "Meet me in the parking lot after shift."_

_Greg's smile gotten bigger at the last words, parking lot. He remembered it like it was yesterday. That was a historical place from the two boys. That is where Greg finally made his moved and kissed his behind Nick's car. Greg was surprised because Nick actually kissed back. Greg got excited and practically ran out the locker, slamming the locker with cell phone, keys, and pager in hand._

**Holdin****g my head in my hands,  
You brushed a tear off my face,  
One on one, You confessed that this all you can take,**

_Greg leaned against his car, burying his head in his hands. He starting crying so much, he didn't know if he'll have any tears after this. Nick just stood there, couldn't believe the words he just blurted out loud. Actually, that was the first thing he said to Greg when he got there. Nick took a step forward and left Greg up by the chin to see his eyes red and puffy but more tears flowed down. He weakly smiled and cupped both of his cheeks with his hands to wipe away the tears._

"_I'm sorry, Greg," Nick repeated for the second time, "I'm not in love with you."_

_Nick knew he was lying to himself when he said that. He knew he could knew stop loving Greg no matter what happened. However, Nick told his father a few moments ago that he was gay and in love with a man, his father freaked. He told his son to get back to Texas right now and never look back. He told him if he does not, they would disown him. Nick took no hesitation to stop there relationship. Nick thought to himself, is this family worth the love I had?_

_Greg looked Nick straight in the eye. He did not know how Nick said that so easily, oh yeah, he said he didn't love him. That made Greg cry more._

_Nick saw him cry and cut right to the chase so he could just run away. Nick was so good at that, why couldn't he keep it up?_

"_I'm moving to Texas, hope you'll give me forget me" Nick said looking for a response._

_Greg looked up and away before saying, "I love you and I hope you know that. I will never forget you but I hope you know how much you hurt me." Nick ran to his car and drove off leaving Greg heartbroken._

**I'm broken, tired  
There ain't nothing left to say  
I'm crying,  
Didn't mean to watch as  
You just walked away**

**Just let him go  
It's too far in motion  
Just let him go  
My heart can gain control  
It's too late  
It's too far  
You're leaving me behind  
Just let him go  
Just let him go**

Greg smiled at the song knowing it fit him so good. He uncapped the pill bottle and unscrewed the vodka bottle. He grabbed two pills and threw into his mouth before taking a sip of vodka. Nick was in Texas now living a life he wanted and not with some faggot and CSI wannabe.

**I should take it all back  
All the kisses I gave you  
The tears that you left me with  
Don't know how to react  
On my own, by myself  
How could you say goodbye?**

I'm broken, tired  
There ain't nothing left to say  
I'm crying  
Didn't mean to watch as  
You just walked away

_Nick came to Greg's doorstep because his ex-boyfriend texted him to. Gosh, it was so hard saying that he was his ex because he does not want it to be over. Nick looked onto the floor before knocking. It took 5 minutes and 26 seconds before Greg opened the door. Nick looked at his bare feet before moving his eyes up to the zombie like figure. Greg looked awful like he hadn't slept in a week or so. Greg was holding a box of Nick's stuff and looking at him with impatience. Greg shoved the box to Nick's chest with force to make him stumble back. Then Greg slammed the door in his face. Nick was stunned about what just happened. Greg was never forceful, nor quiet at all. Greg was never violent or leader. Nick just sighed and walked back to his car while looking in the contents. Little did he know, Greg was watching him walk away from his doorstep from the little window opening with a tear running down his cheek._

**Just let him**** go  
It's too far in motion  
Just let him go  
My heart can gain control  
It's too late  
It's too far  
You're leaving me behind  
Just let him go  
Just let him go**

Greg took four more pills and started not feeling right. It was working. He knew Nick would feel bad about this but probably feel great knowing he will not have to deal with a queer in his life. One that won't have to say sorry to after every bump in, one that wont interfere with the life he doesn't want, and one that won't look back. He took two more pills and took one long sip of vodka.

**  
It's cold  
It's cold  
It's cold  
It's cold  
It's cold i****n here without you  
It's cold  
It's cold  
I'm broken**

**Thought it could be you  
When you think of it  
Every little piece of it  
Is keeping me from turning blue  
Had to turn away  
Didn't want to see you giving me aw****ay**

_Nick and his co-workers, no scratch that, best friends were driving to the airport all together. When Nick told him we was moving to Texas in the break room with all his friends, Greg ran to the bathroom to throw out his breakfast and lunch with a hint of tears. Sara found him and was the only one that soothed him. He has been thinking of killing himself ever since. He knew no one will miss him but Sara. Only Sara. His only friend. Greg watched Nick climb into the airplane, waving to his friends with a big smile on his face. A smile that could break Greg's heart._

**Just let him**** go  
It's too far in motion  
Just let him go  
My heart can gain control  
It's too late  
It's too far  
You're leaving me behind  
Just let him go  
Just let him go**

By the time the song was over, Greg finished the pills and chugged down the whole vodka. He felt everything kick in at once, he set himself on the couch with a smile on his face and a whisper. A whisper that escaped his lips, "Let him go."

Nick came back to his house right after that. Nick literally got off the plane when everyone left and ran to Greg's house. He leaned against the door to catch his breath then he finally knocked on the door. No answer.

"C'mon Greg! Please open up, I…I…I love you!" Nick blurted out and felt a sudden red of blush on his cheeks. Again, no answer. He came around the house to a window to catch a view if he was home; his car was there but no answer.

"Greg?" Nick shouted once more then looked through window. Nick's eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He quickly got out his phone and dialed 911.

"Las Vegas Police Department, how may I help you?" the lady asked.

"Hello, this is CSI: Nick Stokes calling in on a man down. Man down, I repeat, man down!" Nick ran around to the front door before hanging up on the lady. He kicked the door open (with his skills from being a police officer) and ran over to Greg on the couch. He saw the vodka and pills on the table before cradling Greg in his arms.

"Oh Greg, I know you did this for me, I love you Greg and I never stopped. Please, please, please, please make it out of this!" Nick cried then burying his face with Greg's and let tears silently fall onto Greg's cheek and slide down.

"I love you, Greg" Nick said and the next thing he knew he was being hauled away from Greg by the paramedics.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick sat in the waiting room cradling his head in his hands trying to put things together. It has been a few hours since Greg did that to himself and he still sat there, waiting for a miracle to happen.

"Are you here for Gregory Sanders?" someone said, someone near. Nick lifted his head to show Greg's doctor standing infront with a clipboard in his hands.

"Is he alright?" Nick asked hopefully.

"Greg is okay, he will be waking up tomorrow and he may come down with headaches but he'll be alright if he takes some painkillers we have proscribed for him" the doctor informed him and gave him a warming smile.

"Thank you doctor" Nick said and watched the doctor leave. Nick got up and walked back to the car knowing Greg was okay. At the crime lab, he found all his fellow co-workers in the evidence lab all surrounded the table.

"Hey, what's up guys?" Nick asked hoping they did not know Greg's attempted suicide was his fault.

All eyes were on him as he stood next to Catherine, looking at the contents below them. They were still investigating Greg's case. Nick saw the vodka bottle in the evidence bag, the pill bottle in another, and Greg's CD player.

"We're looking at Greg's items. Seems he tried to kill himself with the vodka and the pills but why the CD player?" Langston asked.

"Did you check what was in CD player?" Nick asked sarcastically but no one was in the mood to joke right now.

"Yeah, there was a CD but it was burnt. Someone wrote down 'Promise' on it and it is defiantly not Greg's handwriting" Sara said and pointed it out when she popped the CD out. Nick recognized it immediately it was the CD Nick burnt Greg for his birthday. It was full of Varsity Fanclub songs because Greg had a secret longing for their music.

"Hey Nick, doesn't that handwriting look familiar?" Catherine asked pointing to 'Promise'.

Nick immediately denied and shook his head. "Nope, never seen it, well, I better see if Greg's awake. Bye guys."

~NICK AND GREG~

A day later Greg's eyes slowly opened and were blinded by the ray of the sun through his window. He felt very weak and felt funny. He opened his eyes completely and looked around. He saw he was in the hospital and an IV in his hand. He turned his head away from the sun and saw a peaceful figure sleeping on the chair next to him. Nick. That is when everything hit him. The pills, the vodka, the song, and those words, _I don't love you anymore_. Has he actually come back for him? Or is this just pity because Nick knew Greg did this because it was his fault and then run off back to his straight life. Before Nick woke up, he pressed the assistance button on his bed.

A nurse around her thirties came in and immediately eyes Nick, completely ignoring the patient in need.

"You called?" she asked without taking her eyes off Nick, a little smile tugged in the corner of her lips. Greg felt pain and jealousy inside of him but then he rethought, _Nick would probably pick her over me any day._

"Um," Greg said squinting to look at her nametag. Clarisse. "Clarisse, I want to be alone right now. Can you make him leave please?"

"My pleasure," she said seductively while licking her lips and Greg rolled his eyes and went to fake sleeping.

"Hello Hun," she said from the sound of her voice. Greg turned around on his side and closed his eyes not imagining what Nick does.

"Hm? What?" Nick asked sleepily and his attention went straight to Greg and not the slut who is practically putting her breast in his face.

"Isn't he supposed to wake up today?" Nick asked in concern.

"Not sure, sweetheart" she replied.

"I'm sorry to say but you have to leave your…friends room now" she smiled.

"Oh he's not my friend," _C'mon say it Nicky, say it! _"He's my best friend."

Greg felt tears in his eyes. Nick was so ashamed of being with him, had he known Greg was awake?

"Well good for you! Okay see you tomorrow" she said and heard the two footsteps go father away.

Greg opened his eyes and let the tears fall down his cheeks knowing he was never loved.

~NICK AND GREG~

A week later, the doctor told Greg he was able to work in the crime lab now. Greg walked in the crime lab to find all his co-workers and Nick in the break room and laughing and smiling. He leaned against the doorway, with arms and legs crossed, watching every happy and joyful together.

"Guess whose back!" Greg shouted standing up straight. It became silent and all eyes fell on him. Sara was the first one to react by giving him the biggest hug she ever gave anyone.

"Oh my gosh, Greg!" she said and finally let go with smiles on all their faces. She raised her hand and suddenly smack him in the back of his head.

"Ow!" Greg said and rubbed the spot where she just smacked.

"Don't ever do that again Sanders!" Sara ordered and Greg nodded. Sara smiled happily and gave room for everyone to hug. Everyone except Nick.

"Well everyone, get back to work!" Catherine ordered and everyone scrambled off leaving Catherine, Greg, and Nick in the break room.

Catherine leaned into Greg and whispered, "Don't worry Greg, take as long of time off as you need."

"Thanks Cath" Greg said and pecked her on the cheek before leaving. Greg turned to see Nick staring at him with hateful eyes and the other pair with sorrowful. Greg just casually walked to the office maker, took out his Blue Hawaiian, and took a sip before looking at Nick, still motionless.

"Why are you still here Nick? Aren't you supposed to be in Texas living a happy life with a wife and kids with a ranch or something?" Greg said looking away, not meeting Nick's eyes.

"I jumped out the plane and ran over to your house for you" Nick said in a whisper that made Greg motionless.

"But, why?" Greg asked. "You're not gay. You do not want to come out to the team about us and we been together for 5 years! And I heard what you told the nurse, just best friends huh? Maybe I shouldn't even be your friends at all!"

"Greg…"

"Oh but that's right. You just had to be the hero and help the poor innocent victim that was heartbroken. But did you ever know the heartbroken victim was caused by you? Did you ever love me at all? I certainly loved you. Was I an experiment? What, redneck, straight, womanizer got tired of using woman so moved onto men? Well, this man is not going to be one of your dumb as hell experiments and I certainly remember your last words to me! 'I don't love you anymore' and you just run off!" Greg said as he turned red and his voice got higher and higher.

"I should go," Nick said as he walked away.

"Run away Nick, that's what your best at," Greg whispered loud enough for Nick to hear. Nick cringed at that because he knew that was true.

Once Nick fully walked away, Greg closed his eyes and got frustrated. _Why can't they live a normal gay life?_

Greg clenched his jaw and swung his fist to the closest surface, which was the wall. His fist hurt like hell but he did not care. He needed to release the pain. He finished his coffee as he walked to Catherine's office to get his assignment. Hoping it will take his mind off Nick.


	3. Chapter 3

Sorry if it was too short. I just really needed to get this story done! The last part! And all mistakes are mine so review!

"Congratulations!" they all cheered and brought their drinks together for a CLINK!

The team celebrated another successful case they solved, all thanks to Greg. He was so focused in the case, he caught everything others didn't. So they all headed to the bar to celebrate.

"Wow Greg, never saw you so focused in before" Sara teased as she sipped her beer. They all agreed with chuckles and drank their beer in unison.

Everyone was so busy, they didn't noticed Greg and Nick not in the mood for drinking. Greg was playing with his beer bottle while Nick was stealing glances at Greg.

"I kind of feel sick guys, um, I think I'm going to head back to my place" Greg announced as he got up from his seat.

"Aw!" they all said but Greg ignored them. Probably because they were all drunk, so it didn't really matter.

When Greg left, Catherine and Sara were confused.

"What's up with him? He solved a case! He should've been happy!" Catherine said as she took another swing at her beer.

"It almost like…" Sara trailed off.

"Something bad happened to him" Nick finished and everyone looked at him weirdly for now speaking up.

"Yeah," Sara said weirdly as everyone curiously looked at him.

"I broke up with him" Nick spoke in a whisper but everyone still heard it.

"Well it does seem likely, you two were always happy together" Grissom commented but everyone broke in sad smiles.

"You two would make such a cute couple! And trust me, we don't care if you're gay" Catherine said and gave him a hug.

"Did I just make a big mistake?" Nick asked everyone.

"I think you made a horrible mistake. Geez Nick, you are such a dumb fool" Sara commented but knowing every word was true. He saw it in everyone's eyes.

"Yeah, I know" he said and rushed out the door. He was going to make things right again.

Greg got in his car and drove off to his house. While at a red light, he viewed the rear view (force of habit) and saw a car exactly like his.

_Nick_, Greg thought. But his thought was caught off by a honk. He turned back forward to see it was green. He shakily drove home and practically ran inside his house, forgetting all his stuff in his car. He locked all the locks on the door and shut all the blinds. He peeked through one of the blinds to see Nick walking up his steps. Nick stood there for a few seconds before knocking on the door. Greg decided not answer it. He dropped the blinds and walked over to the door. He leaned his back against the door and slid down slowly until he was in a sitting position.

And he just waited. For anything.

Nick heard footsteps on the other side of the door and knew this would be his only chance to explain. He placed his forehead on the cool wooden door and thought. He was shaking from head to toe, from nervousness. He smiled at one thought and went for it.

"_Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you  
Baby I was wrong  
Yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone  
It was time that we moved on  
I know I broke your heart, I didn't mean to break your heart_

_But baby here I am,_

_Banging on your front door  
My pride spilled on the floor  
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you  
Begging for a second chance  
Are you gonna let me in?  
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you_

I know you're in there and you can make me wait  
But I'm not gonna wait  
It's the least that I can do, just to tell you face to face  
I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell  
Boy I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad  
But baby here I am

Banging on your front door  
My pride spilled on the floor  
My hands and knees are bruised and now I'm crawling back to you  
Begging for a second chance  
Are you gonna let me in?  
I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you

If you could see these tears I'm crying  
Touch these hands that can't stop shaking  
Hear my heart that's barely beating  
You will see a different man

But baby here I am  
Banging on your front door  
My pride spilled on the floor  
My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you  
Begging for a second chance  
Are you gonna let me in?  
I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you

Banging on your front door  
My pride spilled on the floor  
I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you,  
Now I'm crawling back to you  
Crawling back to you  
Crawling back to you  
Crawling back to you" Nick whispered the last words and let a few tears slip out. He stood up straight and waited for something. Anything.

A few minutes went by and nothing. Nick turned around, started to walk away when he heard the locks being unlock, and then opened. He turned around to see his former lover standing at the doorway, with blood shot eyes and his hands clenching to prevent shaking. He was leaning against the doorway, staring at him intensely.

"Greg," Nick started out but was cut off at the exact moment.

"We can't just rewind and pretend nothing happened, Nicky. You hurt me really bad" Greg said as Nick started walking towards him.

Nick was about 5 centimeters apart from their lips touching. "I'm not asking for us to rewind. I'm asking to start over. For a new relationship" Nick whispered, explaining himself to the other as he mindlessly brushed his fingertips on Greg's cheek softly while looking deep into the ex-lab rat's eyes.

Greg thought for a moment then brought his hand on the back of Nick's neck and brought the Texan into a passionate kiss. Nick was shocked and tensed up at first but then melted in the embrace and kissed back eagerly.

They knew in that moment, it would be a start of a new and beautiful relationship.

~End~


End file.
